Monday, May 13, 2013


Every Tuesday a group of us writers create stories around a different word or picture prompt. Visit our blog and read our stories. They will surprise and delight you. Below is my short for this week. It’s a new story I am working on about two brothers torn apart by one scheming woman. Let me know what you think. ---mcf

Bill drove over the town line and stepped back in time. Same store fronts. Same people. Same lies. He had run like hell from this town and here he was again; right back where he started, but not for long; not if he could help it.

Bill parked his motorcycle outside the blue ranch house. The rose bushes at the front of the house looked a little wilted, like if no one was talking to them or giving them enough to drink. And maybe they weren’t. Seemed his grandmother’s death affect all of them.

The street was jammed with parked cars. Luckily a bike fit anywhere. The crowd on the porch stopped their conversations mid-sentence, but no one dared approach him. His long legs ate the sidewalk and he was climbing the steps in no time. The house looked and smelled the same – lavender and peaches. The scent lingered and brought back memories.

Before he could take another step or another breath, a warm body with lots of curly hair tackled him. He saved himself from falling over by widening his stance.

“You came, you came,” cried the small woman in his arms.

He looked into the trusting eyes of his baby sister. “You are so big.” He didn’t realize he had spoken his thought out loud until she answered him.

“I’m nineteen now and a college sophomore.”

“Good for you,” he said and he meant it. College was one ticket out of here.

“Well, well, well, so the prodigal returns.” His brother John entered the room from the living room. The years had not been kind. He looked older than his 32s. “Don’t expect the fatted calf.”

“I wouldn’t think of it,” answered Bill. “I’ll be gone by this evening.”

“No,” cried his sister Suzanne. “You have to stay. Grandma wanted you to stay, to take care of the family now. She said it was your turn. That’s what she said.”

“My turn?” No f-ing way Bill thought. He loved the old girl but he wasn’t staying any longer than it took to pay his respects and cut the final ties.

Bill turned toward the woman now walking into the room. Darling Eve. The woman he once loved. The woman who cost him all. His brother’s wife.####

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  1. Nice description of the family reunion ... and ouch on the sis-in-law/ex lover!

  2. That was very touching. And then the SIL/Ex appeared!

  3. Oooh...Even sounds like a piece of work. But something tells me Bill will end up was his grandmothers wish.

  4. So much angst in this, I hope you continue with it I want to know more.

  5. Wow! How powerful is this? Tremendous and the last line gave me goosebumps. I'm hoping Bill will stay and I can't wait to see what happens. I hope you're planning to continue this story, Maria. You've got us all sucked in already.

  6. Lots of love and anger going on here. Great job

  7. Oh WOW! the first thought that came to mind as I read the final paragraph... great job

  8. I am intrigued. I want to know what Eve did that tore the two brother's apart. As Sarah said I can already tell Eve is up to no good. Can't wait to read more!

  9. Excellent. I was not ready to stop reading. Good opening lines. Loved it!

  10. Maria, I really enjoyed this story opening.Nice build up to the conflict between the brothers and Eve. I want to read more.

  11. This is a good lead to a Novel. I hope you continue it.